Nerves often stop me from “Racing”…
One thing I’ve noticed from my few years as a “Runner” (can I call my a runner? It’s been 4 years now). Is how much of a division there is when it comes to racing. Whilst some people strive for a new high or yet another medal, I’m on the shelf about how I feel…
I’ve run a few races over the past few years but in the last 18 months I’ve not entered any. I was thinking ‘Why’ and came up with a few reasons…
*Last year after taking a running break I felt weak, slow and seriously unfit, my running confidence took a massive hit. I knew entering an event would knock my already delicate self confidence.
*If I was going to run a charity race I needed something close to my heart, I’ve really enjoyed Race For Life and will definitely enter this year but nothing else had caught my eye.
*I lost my drive to ‘race’ I’ve never been particularly fast and whilst it was never about winning I knew I needed some intense feelings of ambition to beat what I considered a acceptable time.
Which leads to my pre: race nerves; I can hardly ever sleep easy the night before an event. I find that I’m up all hours with my mind whirling in so many different directions, common topics include:
‘What if I take 5 minutes longer than normal?’
‘What if I’m sick?’
‘How will I cope if I really need to spend a penny?’
‘Will I poo myself?’
It all steams from one year I ran Race For Life and overcome with the need to beat my PB, heat and a crazy sprinting start (what was I thinking?) I ended up throwing up on the course and walking and I’ve never really gotten over it.
Of course I’ve ran races since, multi terrain in the wind, mud and rain – that finished off my favourite pair of trainers. Followed by a steady winter 10km and a few fun charity 5km races.
Which leaves me with an aim in 2013 to dust off my racing fears and enter some run’s to keep me motivated. I’ll start moving forwards with a focus on beating my personal bests and having cake at the finish. Towards the end of 2013, I shall aim to run my first half marathon, this leaves me feeling excited or maybe, after 13.1 I’ll spend more time on my sofa.