What if, it’s not everyone else?
Hand’s up if you’ve ever found yourself getting annoyed over little things that have absolutely zero impact on your life?
Okay, I should think that all of us can relate, after all, we’re only human right?
But, what if this starts to have an impact on everyday life? What if we start to think that almost everyone else is wrong and we’re almost definitely right? I’m an ever-evolving person and as part of that, sometimes I have to sit down and have a strong word with, myself.
Maybe, just maybe I’m not talking to myself kindly enough and because I’m getting caught up in a web, without realising it I’m talking everyone else down too? Wow, but surely that would mean a whole lot of self-acceptance and talking to myself more kindly? After all, would I actively insult and belittle others? No. Would I turn away from someone who really needed me? No. Yet, I’m pro-active in doing this to myself, the repair is easier said than done. By the way, I hate to say it but sometimes you might be guilty of this too!
As a matter of fact, we must be able to positively and kindly connect with ourselves before we can successfully connect with others.
I like to run away because it’s the easiest option (see also, sticking head in the sand) and I can only keep running away from myself for so long. Communication is a way to repair a high percentage of problems with others. But, by saying sorry to myself and repairing the internal battle wounds inside my mind is a long slow process.
But going back to communication with others, I asked myself the following:
*Am I sometimes a little too quick to share my opinion?
*Do I listen as carefully as I should?
*How am I handling negative feedback? Am I making other people feel bad without realising it?
*How would I like to be treated in that situation?
“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.” -Roy T. Bennett
I suppose the best solution is to listen without prejudice, act with kindness, consider how you’d like to be treated in certain situations. But, above all, speak kindly to yourself. Genuine care has to come from within, we have to nurture ourselves first before we can fully give to another. Even if that does accept that maybe, just maybe, sometimes it’s not them, it’s you.