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  • Writer's pictureKatie Brown

On not being sexy…

Today I read an article that informed me that ‘an incredibly sexy person lives inside of you, dying to come out..’. Fascinating stuff, I had no idea of my burning desire to be considered sexy until I read this article (cue: sarcasm).

Some people just have it, that aura in the way they move and the effortless way they present themselves, I’m not that person and it’s fine. This morning I headed into our garage to lift weights, to be completely honest I was being extremely lazy so I wore my sports bra, trainers, and my pants. *Sorry for any horrifying thoughts that may have formed from my oversharing. My partner asked if I was going to tweet about the fact I was exercising in my pants, I replied ‘No because it sexualizes my workout’ and he replied ‘there’s nothing sexy about how you look now’. Gosh, I love him.

But, let’s face it, SEX SELLS and I can’t see that slowing down anytime soon. The thing is, I get it and I don’t have an issue with it, frankly, it’s just to an extent, human nature.

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So, I then started digging around on the internet and found an article about ’17 Struggles for a woman who is cute, but not hot’ wow, this is a whole new world to me.

Let me quote you this, Even your lady parts are cute. “Give me those cute little boobs” is a real thing that a guy I dated once said to me. I haven’t yet recovered”.

If I ever had the great misfortune to date, someone who said that to me, I don’t think I’d recover either “Hello? Hello? Is this real life?”.

Searches related to not being sexy:

The sad thing about these search terms is that they are all based on pleasing someone else or setting out to change so that we might impress someone else. The laws of attraction are quirky and often the things that men find sexy aren’t actually what we would expect at all.

I’ve written before about why we should read men’s fitness magazines because many of the women’s magazines focus on being ‘sexy’ rather than strong, smart, and well, just rad really.  This leads me onto the well-known fact that being sexy makes you more marketable, especially in fitness blogging and that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. I know that more of us are swaying away from this kind of marketing and chose not to follow.  But plenty of people do enjoy following this content and should we judge? No. That’s the glorious part of social media that so many of us forget, we are able to tweak and choose exactly the kind of people we want to follow on our timelines.

Being sexy is not a crime. For many it’s a mindset, of course from time to time I feel good and hell I might even admit that I feel ‘sexy’ and I enjoy it. But it’s not my sole ambition, I don’t think sexy should be confused with confidence because that’s a whole different ballgame. I think more than anything, we should feel comfortable with how we carry ourselves. We should also portray an image that’s honest to us and not what’s dictated by society and social media. Finally, we should do/wear/share what makes us happy. If that ends up being perceived as sexy? Then fantastic, enjoy it and don’t apologize. If not? Who cares?

Being sexy is not a cookie-cutter fit. Sadly reality TV and popular social media accounts generally only portray one type of person, normally with a ‘cookie-cutter’ kind of look. You know hourglass shape with an impossibly small waist and pert bottom, large breasts, and long hair. Or a strapping body with large shoulders, rippling abs, and suspiciously white teeth! If one day I have a daughter, I’ll remind her that she doesn’t need to look like this to get ahead in life. On the other hand, if it makes her happy, then I guess that I’ll be happy too!

So next time you catch sight of yourself looking bedraggled with dark circles under your eyes and wearing boring pants, remember it’s okay not to be sexy. On the other hand, if someone can style me like an effortlessly stylish and sensual Italian woman, I’ll be game to try. Just a word of warning…I’m a secret slob, there isn’t a lot of ‘sexy’ when it comes to mismatching socks! 



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