Hands up if you’ve ever wondered – “I think I must be the only person like this? I am driving myself insane?”
I’m not entirely sure when the penny dropped, but during the past year, I’ve realized that my little behaviors and feelings are not only pretty normal. But also behaviors that manifest as a sideline of OCD and Anxiety. The term OCD (Obsessive-compulsive disorder) intimidated me greatly. I strongly feel that we all have our own little quirks or rituals and it might not be as intensive as OCD, but it’s not something we should fear, it’s actually standard human behavior.
Of course, if you feel like this behavior is causing problems in your day to day life, then my number one piece of advice is to seek some professional help. On the other hand, if you’re looking for some understanding, or just being nosey, read on…
*I have to check I’ve locked the front door – Frankly, I’m amazed that our front door is still on its hinges, considering the sheer intensity I use when checking it’s actually locked. For some reason, that I’m unable to understand, I’ve convinced myself that if I don’t check 3 times, it’ll almost definitely open itself, despite the fact I have actually locked it.
*I have Dermatillomania – Only 6 weeks ago did I realize my obsession with picking my skin and nails is actually a disorder. When I’m frustrated, bored or out of sheer habit, this is my “To Go” behavior. Delightful.
*I can’t focus if I think I’ve upset someone – When I’m feeling anxious about a situation with another person I have a tendency to get in contact and ask an indirect question. Mainly, because I’m desperately searching for some direct answers. One I have an answer, I can then calm my obsessive thoughts and worries about the situation.
*I’ll always make an excuse to go back and check – Not just front doors, that’s my favorite but alongside that there are my hair straighteners, gym kit, alarm at work, checking the oven is off despite leaving the house at 6 am. I’ve actually been known to create a situation and pretend that I’ve almost definitely forgotten something, just so I can check.
*I need music to relax – If I’m making a car journey and there’s no music playing at all, not even quietly in the background, I won’t be comfortable. I actually long for 5 pm at work, so I can get into my car, find the right playlist and switch off. Listening to music calms me down, it allows me to consider how I’m feeling and I need at least 15-20 minutes a day.
*Are you hosting a dinner party? I can’t bring one thing – If I only one thing I’m convinced people will think badly of us, I’m most comfortable if I’ve brought at least 3-4 items of food etc. It might just be crisps, chocolate, sweets or other little nibbles, but it puts me at ease because I’ve convinced myself it shows that I care.
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Do any of these little behaviors ring true to you as well?
Katie
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