Lessons I’ve learned during my 30’s…
Life is a complicated journey, isn’t it? Yet, I’m a strong believer that we can learn from bumps in the road, wrong turns and arriving at our destination early. With all this in mind, I’m sharing some of the things I’ve learned over the past 4 years, which have shaped not only who I am today, but kind of person I want to continue to be…
“Do your best” – But not to the point of having a mental breakdown.
Swap self-pity for self-confidence – Confidence is like a muscle, for it to grow and become stronger you need to work it. Let’s think about this, when was the last time you really looked forward to spending time with someone wallowing in self-pity? But don’t use this as an excuse to just give up on people. Start by holding eye contact, ask them questions, focus on making them smile, make them feel good about themselves and good about being with you. LEAVE PEOPLE BETTER THAN YOU FOUND THEM. Then, use that to build your confidence, not everyone will like your style, but you aren’t here to please everyone are you?
Sexy is a mindset – It’s up to you to decide what mindset that is for you. But don’t buy into commercial sexy. People want to sell you a false reality so that they can become rich and you can enter a cycle of always feeling incomplete.
Stop entertaining toxic friendships – Seriously, if someone is continually making you feel bad about yourself and unable to be your true self, call time on that friendship. Don’t ghost people, be honest and explain the best you can, you’d want the same from someone else wouldn’t you? It’s one of the hardest things I’ve done, but these days I have more friends than ever and they accept me, for me.
Unfollow people who don’t bring you joy – It’s nothing personal or complicated, create a space online that makes you feel good.
Don’t look for someone who calls you “Perfect” – That’s bullshit, I hope that you don’t “find” but instead cross paths with someone who realizes that you’re a messy, complicated, loyal and intoxicating mess. But falls in love with you anyway.
Make sure you’re always learning – From people you admire, from your mistakes, from books, from a conversation, from body language and from music. Work out how to deal with difficult people, learn to slowly swap your mindset and accept what feels right.
Accept negative feedback – Of all the things I find hard, negative feedback is right at the top of the list. But this can be used as a way to understand how to become more or be used as a way to grow more tolerant of people’s opinions and the fact we can’t control them. Sometimes, it tells us more about them than it does us.