How to make “Comparison” WORK for you…
Comparison is a truly tough emotion to battle with, it’s something that even, with the very best will in the world, we all experience at some point. The whole objective of this post; isn’t to encourage competition or comparison, but to act as a guide towards handling these emotions. Alongside, creating a better life for yourself at the same time.
Thinking, “I want what she’s got…” will only get you so far, chances are before you can start a new journey, you need to look a bit deeper first. Always getting what you want, will mean that you have nothing to work towards and a life without ambition, would feel bleak and unsatisfying.
Chances are that getting what you want, isn’t as complicated or uncomfortable as you might think, plus whilst learning a different way. You might even discover something new about yourself and realise that actually, even though it looks desirable. It’s not actually the pathway for you, there’s nothing wrong with a plot twist.
During this post, I’m covering some of the main topics that I see as points of comparison during my day to day life. It could be that none of these areas are applicable to you, regardless of that, the formula is simple and you don’t have to be a genius to crack the code quickly.
“I want the same top, skirt, bag as her”
Ah, self-esteem is a delicate and complicated thing, if we feel as if maybe we don’t match up it’s easier to mimic the style of someone else. Without realising it, we might have noticed that perhaps someone is wearing something that gives off a signal of success, or joy and chances are, we want a bit of that too. Or an easier way to explain is that its good old fashioned desire, our brains are wired to look for the next high, which is one of the reasons so many of us enjoy the thrill of a new purchase.
This road has a few different endings – 1) you purchase the product, feel great, the end. 2) you purchase the product, pushing you into debt and you don’t have a long term high 3) you start to envy that person because the product isn’t in reach.
Which means firstly you need to ask – Why do I want this? Do I have something similar? Can I afford this? Where will I wear this? How will I honestly feel when I have this, am I looking for something else instead?
If you really want it – Treat yourself, as long as the short term high won’t result in debt or disappointment. If it’s something designer, can you look into pre-loved or a high street dupe? Or even, a designer discount village. It might be, that along the way you find something else or change your mind? Don’t forget charity shops are a great way to find hidden gems and give back at the same time.
“I haven’t got enough Instagram followers/high enough engagement”
If I had a penny for every time Instagram following and engagement has come up in conversation over the years I’d be a rich woman. Plus, if I had an instant and truly authentic solution? I’d be even richer
Why – Before I even get started, I want to establish your WHY? Are you a business? Or are you just an individual with a personal account? Because if you’re a business, there are many logical ways I can suggest to help you grow both areas, if it’s a personal account then feel free to try these too but, keep in mind it might not have the same success.
Let’s say you have a personal account, are you competing with your friends? Are you looking for a bit of a dopamine fix? Remember that people love you, for YOU not for the picture-perfect visual, I’d say focus a little deeper inside than on these numbers that mean very little.
How – I’m going to assume that you’re a business and focus on “how” from this point of view…
Firstly, do you have a blog to compliment your Instagram, if not? Why not? You MUST remember that Instagram won’t last forever and it’s not the easiest place to make money. With a blog, you have complete creative control, a chance to reach an even wider audience, AND generate an income. Eggs and baskets my friends, eggs, and baskets…
Secondly, if you don’t have a creator/business account, then please stop what you’re doing and make the switch over. Use the analytics to help you focus on the right time to post and establish how people are finding your content.
Of course, use stories to connect with people, like photos under the hashtags you use, leave thoughtful comments, have a schedule, and stick to your brand.
TRY – Picking 4 hashtags each day and leaving 5 thoughtful comments under the 5 most popular pictures on that hashtag each day. It will take very little time and effort, plus means more people get to know you and increases your visibility.
Absolutely do not use third-party applications, it’s tempting to see who has unfollowed right? But ask yourself, is that temptation strong enough to risk being hidden by Instagram or risk being banned? I’ll help you with this, the answer is no.
Don’t give up, do better, stick to a schedule, write better captions, and spend longer considering your hashtag usage.
Back to eggs and baskets, use your other social channels and blog to promote your Instagram feed, it frustrates me how few people do this.
“I don’t make as much money as my friends…”
Sadly, I cannot stress enough, how much this shouldn’t matter but I think we all know what a huge divide this can cause between people. This is such a delicate subject, especially in the current climate where more people are dealing with unexpected redundancy and the cost of living is expected to rise.
Please, can we try to support each other here? No one should struggle along, there are many ways you can help a friend for free or very low cost.
Why? – Several elements should be factored in, do your friends have a particular skill? Have they inherited money? Do they spend very carefully and invest their money to make it work better for them? Is it that maybe you had a family young and are trying to catch up? Or is it the fact that a lot of people struggle with, they work harder and are more determined than you?
How – As this is such a vast, complicated topic I’m going to cover off a few logical ways to deal with this.
Ask yourself, do you need more money? Do these people make you feel uncomfortable? Or can you redirect how you feel about it? Can you learn from them? I have some very successful friends, I never ever stop to think that they might not see me as in the same bracket as them. What I do, however, is use them as inspiration, I ask questions and allow them to encourage me to be more.
Can you save money? Even just a few pounds each week can quickly make a difference, you can easily make £10.00 and simplify your savings by looking at Ruth’s Blog. Which is actually a highly useful and interesting resource for anyone looking to increase earning’s from home.
Have a clear out? So many people say that selling on eBay or Depot is too tiring or hard work, so they don’t bother and don’t make any money. I hate to be the one to say it, but making money isn’t always easy and don’t be disappointed by the lack of results, from the work you didn’t do.
Keep a Money Diary – Are you wasting money without realising it? Chances are that odd coffee, odd £15 top habit is adding up. By keeping a money diary, you can quickly establish if and where there are ways to make your money work more efficiently for you.
“I’m not as fit/fast as everyone else, I don’t know why I bother?”
Hey, let me ask you something, do you remember that person who gave up? No, wait I don’t remember them either…
Why? – Okay, if this is troubling you and you honestly feel like giving up, please let me ask you, what would you honestly gain by that? It might be that you need a break to re-establish your goals. It might be, that whatever you’re trying to do, isn’t for you or there’s another way around it. What I do know, is a comparison in fitness is the easiest way to make it hell for yourself. Focus on you, there are so many different elements that go into our own unique ability and trying constantly to live up to someone else, is a one-way road to misery. Please, let me redirect you quickly…
How – As ever, this is just an overview, the choices are vast…
Establish why you are feeling this way? Has someone said something to put you down? If so, consider why that person would do that? They cannot be happy within themselves or they wouldn’t pro-actively look to belittle others, chances are they are hurting and you need to move away or help.
Can you train differently? Are you fuelling correctly? Sometimes the way to get better is to make a huge change. This could be as simple as changing your training plan, looking into getting a coach, switching up classes at the gym, or just improving your diet. Changes won’t happen without effort and consistency.
Are you having fun? Because, that’s what really matters here, fitness isn’t meant to be a punishment, you should enjoy moving your body.
Should you accept your limitations? Some of us have limitations out of our control, they could be time, risk of injury or genetics, and it’s not a crime, just do you!
My Blog Isn’t Successful Or Making Money
Why? – The saddest thing about blogging is how many people I see that give up because they underestimate how much work goes into it. They create wonderful content, but so few people understand the hard work that goes in behind the scenes. It’s easy to make it look “Effortless” but the reality is- Learning about SEO, keeping on top of broken links and general blog maintenance, promotion on social media, mastering the art of Pinterest. Plus, keeping up a consistent schedule, suddenly it doesn’t sound like a 5-minute wonder.
How – Having a blog is a brilliant thing, it’s a chance to have your very own little space on the internet. Starting a blog with the sole objective of making money, will take away a lot of the joy from the experience, but shouldn’t be considered as a reason not to try.
Understanding that everything takes time – There’s no such thing as an overnight success, of course, that doesn’t mean that your post won’t go viral. But to keep on creating content, takes time, love, a sprinkle of ambition, effort, and research.
Keep On Learning – Join groups, download guides, ask questions, and never stop learning, I don’t think you can ever know too much.
Don’t give up – Good things take time, just because something isn’t instantly successful that doesn’t mean it won’t be eventually. Some posts are “Evergreen” and can gradually build coverage over time, you might be closer to success than you actually think.
Not everyone is you – Of course, most topics have already been covered online but that’s not a reason for you to feel discouraged from posting something with your own personal stance. There’s always space for something new, so make it about you can avoid trying to become or mirror someone else.
I hope that somewhere, among these words you’ve found something that can help you on your journey. Just remember, that sometimes we don’t get what we want, because we’re due something else, keep smiling.