Hey, it’s okay if you don’t have your sh*t together by 33.
I’m tired, of reading articles written by people who appear to have it all together. You know the type, we’ll call this person ‘Type A’ and ‘Type A‘ folk have decent savings, complete laundry in one day, plan ahead and have a 5-year plan. Folk ask me about my 5-year plan and my honest reply is that I just don’t know.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my life, sure I have up’s and downs but I get to live moments I’d only dreamt of, and the main person responsible for this is me. That might read as somewhat obnoxious to some folk, but when you read ‘You are responsible for how happy you want to be‘ a big part of that is true. But let’s get real, it’s just not that easy and I’m naturally a negative thinker, who was stuck in what I’d describe as a ‘funk‘.
Now time for some real talk, I lost interest in myself and my overall well being, it’s so easy to blame mental health and yes it is partly to blame, yet the reality was that I needed to make a change. I looked back at some old photo’s and stared in disbelief at the confident, well-presented woman I used to be. I swore blind I wouldn’t become the big comfortable pants and pyjama’s in the evening kind of woman and then there I was buying a multipack of black briefs – Oh boy, this isn’t good.
But it wasn’t about sex appeal, it was about the fact I wasn’t feeling myself – I wasn’t making the effort to get dressed up, I was turning to a junk food, a diet made mainly of convenience and avoiding the gym. I was going to bed at 9 pm, simply because I couldn’t motivate myself work a little harder or spend a little longer with those who matter.
So, I started to turn it around – Making ‘To Do Lists‘ – Letting more of my personality shine through on social media – I bought some seriously flirty dresses that I adored and made me feel amazing – I prepped my food in advance, using different ingredients – I had my hair, nails and tan done – I started wearing lots of earrings – I also started dancing to Taylor Swift.
Suddenly I was improving my mood, I was starting to feel like me again – It was time to dig deeper.
I had some worries, petty things but I needed to address these concerns, the simplest option was to write a list of my worries and then all the possible outcomes. I felt so much better.
Then guess what? During the following week, a lot of my fears and worries dissolved and were resolved naturally.
Next on my list was my financial well being, fortunately, over the past few years, I’ve been able to build a small nest of savings. Enough to cover my bills if I couldn’t work for a month, if we had an emergency or if we wanted to go away, but I need to say that the idea of having a year’s salary saved by 35 is ridiculous. Please, don’t read this click bait, make yourself happy and look at kittens instead.
As any woman getting married or living with her partner and over the age of 30 will know, the question of children is one that pops up time and time again. I’m finally becoming comfortable with the answer, ‘I don’t know’. For a very long time, I found it stressful and uncomfortable, then I remembered that the only people that matter in this conversation are myself and Graeme.
I love life as a 30 something, no one said it would be easy, no one said it would be the same life that my parents led or anyone else for that matter. I’m still wearing baggy t-shirts and converse style trainers out in public, I still have no self-control around Harbio and I have a much better playlist than I did at 20. I might not have all my sh*t together, I have unopened letters, incomplete ‘To Do Lists’ and no 5-year plan, but I’m living.