Help – I Can’t Stop Comparing Myself
“I’m not like other Barbies, I’m Malibu Barbie” Me – Exploring the possibility of being confident and unique age 5, with my new Malibu Barbie.
The mind is such a powerful thing, we’re constantly being told to control it, to exercise it and expand it. When it comes to mindset, I personally aspire to learn the art of how to switch off my mind from time to time, not unlike you’d switch off an annoying alarm clock or your computer.
Yesterday I took myself to the garden, closed my eyes and focused on avoiding intrusive thoughts, I felt instant satisfaction. Fast forward a few hours, I’m fully focused on my old friend comparison, it was nice of them to drop by.
The act of comparing.
The state of being compared.
A likening; illustration by similitude; comparative estimate or statement.
Rhetoric. the considering of two things with regard to some characteristic that is common to both, as the likening of a hero to a lion in courage.
The capability of being compared or likened.
Comparison is something we learn at a tender age, I suppose it’s an ingrained emotion and part of human nature, the impact will depend on how we use it. I frequently read Instagram captions, from people expressing concerns about the constant comparisons with what feel’s like a very unlevel playing field. More often than not, we’re all busy chasing or dreaming about something that doesn’t actually exist.
But did you know, that as a generalization the comparisons we make about others are normally based upon the worst we know about ourselves?
Being different is a good thing, primarily because it gives us the freedom to be true to who we really are. Nevertheless, we’re constantly evolving, I’m not the same person I was 12 months ago and I can’t wait to continue my personal growth. By working on focusing on what’s authentic to us, eventually we’ll build what can be considered a higher level of self-esteem, why would we want to be constantly chasing the trail of someone else’s magic, when we can go and make our own magic?
By spending our time comparing ourselves to others, without realizing it we are losing and not gaining, surely the way forward is to focus on our personal gain?
By focusing on comparison we lose and gradually chip away at our precious well-being and our time. I could easily waste an hour comparing my previous measurements, engagements on Instagram pictures and even friendships. Let me tell you, from personal experience it only ends in me feeling so much worse in the long run.
I’m constantly inspired by others, I want to be more and give more of myself to others, but I need to become strong and grounded with who I really am to achieve that. I’m not going to sit here and deny the hours I’ve wasted comparing myself, I’m not going to regret not using that time more effectively. Life is too short to keep looking backward. I’m not looking to stand out in a crowd, I have no desire to be the center of attention, but if I can keep one tiny spark that’s authentic to me and make the choices that feel right to me, then I’m successful.
*You like something another person is doing and what to be just like that?
Ask yourself, “How can I do this but remain authentic to me?” and explore the possibility of using them as inspiration to create something unique and personal to you.
*Learn, change and evolve.
As previously mentioned, most of our comparisons are based on things that we consider negative about ourselves, mainly things that others won’t notice. If it’s causing that much of an issue, explore the possibility of change, would it make things better? Could you ease your mind? Or would you open up for just another worry? A lot of my problems stem from low self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence, I can make all the changes on the outside but only I can heal that from the inside.
*Become your own personal inspiration.
Grab a pen and paper and write down all the things about yourself that bring you joy. Those silent personal battles that you won, moments that make you proud, memories that no one can snatch away. Before you know it, you’ll be so focused on the good, it’ll be harder to focus on the bad.