It’s okay to feel a bit lost, or like you don’t belong right now, here we are, stuck between these four walls and looking for any kind of outside entertainment or distraction. The natural place to seek this is social media, but it’s also the most toxic, dishonest and confusing avenue.
If we’re not careful, we start looking too deeply into the mirror image of perfection people are busily curating with all the spare time they now have. Surely everyone follows a “Sandra” who appears to have more hours in the day than anyone else, who’s already learnt another language, run a personal best and found time to work at home, full time. Whilst looking HOT in every single picture. Go away Sandra, I’m still wearing my dressing gown, I’m unproductive and grumpy, leave me alone.
When you’re being true to yourself, no one else has the power to tell you that you’re doing it all wrong.
The strange ole thing about focusing on other people, is right now it’s hard to remember that these people might only be in your life on a temporary basis. I might poke fun at the imaginary “Sandra” but these people are focusing on what’s good for them. You really need to live for yourself right now, however that might look.
I’ve written about the “Comparison Trap” before and the huge impact it’s had on me over the years. It’s tricky, like a wound that heals but every so often the little voice on my shoulder nudges me back towards falling into that trap.
“My pain has many faces. Sometimes, it even wears yours.” – Ranata Suzuki
“Good Vibes Only” – When you feel positive about the situation, it’s amazing how well you can then perform, and then as a result upward spiral begins. That doesn’t mean it’ll hang around, a dear friend of mine reminded me that whilst I’m making progress, I can’t just turn my back on 30+ years of negative thinking. Remember, someone might preach that life is perfect right now, they drank green juice, mediated and life was suddenly brilliant. No, that’s not how it works. I don’t mind if you tell me you’re having a rubbish day and things are going wrong, that’s normal and that’s how life works.
I need you to understand that on some days, you just have to do whatever it is that makes you feel better. That might mean filtering a picture, or it might mean avoiding the washing up, or putting on a full face of make-up and dancing for the camera. If you’re angry because someone else is putting out a visual that makes them appear to be thriving, ask yourself what’s hurting inside of you? Plus, sit with your feelings for a bit, it doesn’t make you a bad person or wrong. It just makes you human.
You’ve got this; if looking into the wrong mirror hurts, put it down and look into something else inside. Start with the cookie jar and I can only hope that you find treasure, or failing that, a half-decent biscuit.