When I think about the women I admire; I never ever think about how they look or what handbag they carry, or how many Instragram followers they have.
I think about how they make me feel; I think about little acts of kindness or acts of bravery, in a world that sometimes feels big, overwhelming and bloody frightening. I think about how these women make me want to do better, the feeling of joy I get when they achieve something brilliant. I like to reflect on the lessons other women have taught me, both good and bad.
You see I have carefully curated a friendship group made up of awesome women. None of us are perfect, but I felt thankful for them when I found myself reminded of the other side of female tribes. It reminded me that I don’t miss the competitiveness, the only ego I’m driven by is my own. I will go out of my way to make someone I care for feel good, however, I’m thankfully at the point in my life when I don’t have to flatter a stranger to make them like me.
“The only person that deserves a special place in your life is someone that never made you feel like you were an option in theirs.”
― Shannon L. Alder
I always try to remember this.
It’s tough enough being female; it’s a bigger battle to get equal pay, it’s frightening walking alone in the dark. In some parts of the world, it’s illegal for us to make choices about our bodies and abortion. Young women are being forced into marriage or unable to go to school because they can’t afford sanitary protection. 1 in 3 women has experienced some kind of sexual harassment by the age of 25. So, really why on earth should we not be supporting each other?
I became the person I needed in my life when I was younger.
Because I decided, it was okay not to fit the mold. It was alright to make mistakes and misunderstand some situations and learn from them. I know how it feels to be constantly underestimated, I understand the isolation and the pain from standing up for what I believe in. Because of this, I’m learning how to make other women feel better and pushing the power of empowerment and achievement.
“Diversity is one of humanity’s greatest strengths – so be yourself. Find out what makes you look and feel beautiful in your own eyes. Vigorous womanhood can look any way you want it to and can encompass whatever elevates your life and allows you to live your unique spiritual purpose.”
― Elizabeth Eiler
Sometimes all it takes is something simple like “I think you’re doing great” or “I can tell that was a big move for you, I’m impressed”. Maybe “It doesn’t matter, because actually you’re human and we’re in it together right?”.The simple art of just listening is so underestimated, but actually it helps in gaining someone’s trust, which is something of high value. Once you have this, use it to guide them to something bigger and better, or just out of a tricky situation.
“When they go low, we go high.”
― Michelle Obama
Don’t ever forget, we’re fucking powerful. You have a voice and you should use it because nothing worth having is going to come easy. We can break through the fears we have by doing things that we don’t want to do. Suddenly, the fear is broken down, it becomes manageable and can be replaced by pride and positivity. Or maybe, it was just another glorious lesson you needed to learn. Trust me, I felt a bit crumbled recently and then I remembered; this is just a stepping stone to greatness.