Hello, Ola, Howdy…
It’s been a while since I sat down and wrote a more personal blog post, or a blog post in general.
Let’s have a little catch up shall we?
2020 was the year I went back to work full-time, it was a tough decision and as much as I love my little corner of the internet. Most content creators will tell you that it’s very hard work, the first four or five years were incredible and I’m overflowing with gratitude. But, like most people the Pandemic hit my creative side hard.
Opportunities to create content became limited, jobs dried up, I had a few companies who didn’t actually pay, resulting in me working for free. Whilst, I do think that working for free does have its place, it’s also time and energy, I can’t get back. My mental health took a huge tumble and after a two week break from endless screen time and flipping between applications, I realised that I needed a real break.
There’s only so many times you can jump on the dopamine roller-coaster, and let it take you for a ride. Suddenly the thrill of “Will this be successful for not?” dried up. I’m a strong believer that content creation should come from the heart, I didn’t ever want to become someone who wrote a blog post “Just because I felt like I NEEDED to do this” or to keep up with my peers. My journey didn’t start this way and it certainly wasn’t going to end this way.
I learnt to embrace the “Joy Of Missing Out” and I was happy to those who were getting opportunities and I remembered how enjoyable watching from the side-lines was. Whilst I fully appreciate that “Authentic” was thrown around as a buzz word, for me to genuinely be authentic I had to take care of myself. I started CBT, I spent more time resting and recovering after several years of constantly saying yes, trying to people please and being completely burnt out.
Talking of burnt out, I could have become a poster girl for showing the other side of trying to have it “All”. Which in simple terms would mean working 40-50+ hours a week, saying yes to events I didn’t care about because I didn’t want to say no. Gaining weight from the endless binge eating cycle I was caught in and neglecting things that genuinely mattered.
Nearly 10 months have passed and I feel more in love with my husband than ever, I’m well rested, I’m calmer, I’m significantly fitter than I have been in several years. I make time for key friendships and I’m a becoming a better friend. I’m openly minded towards opportunities that will help me grow, I’ve taken on a diploma, and I’m listening to endless podcasts and I’m constantly learning. If the storm hadn’t come to shake me up, none of this would have happened.
So, I guess what I learned is; no number of motivational quotes will change things if you’re burnt out and overly anxious, “Have a coffee you’ll be fine” moments don’t always work and sometimes, there really is joy in missing out.