Firstly, I’ll start with the fact that this isn’t a post that I intended to write, I’m the first person to tell someone that they don’t need to change. I’m anti ‘diets’ and I’ve written about my yo-yo relationships with food and wellness several times before.
After enjoying every dessert, all the cheese and extra servings over November, December and January, I stepped on the scales in February and realised I’d gone up to 69kg. Part of me wanted to give zero fucks, I wanted to step away and be that girl I portray on social media.
Another thing I know only too well that I’ve got a wedding dress to wear in June, I’ve been clinically obese before and it could be a very slippery slope. My only choice was to find a balance, a halfway point and some sense in my extensive personal experience with weight loss and well being.
So, what happened?
You might have noticed the following: 1) I’m only human 2) I’ve completely lost my running mojo 3) I eat, a LOT 4) I’m always working, I don’t sleep well and I’m on a constant sugar rollercoaster because I need that boost.
When I was running frequently and clocking up 6 workouts a week, I had more freedom with my eating as I was moving a lot and burning the calories, it’s really as simple as that. That’s not to imply that running 4/5 days a week and only taking one rest day is a good thing, I completely burnt out. As a result, I’ve been moving less, I’ve been eating my emotions and/or I’ve been setting good intentions, only to fail.
Some of my clothing doesn’t fit, I wouldn’t worry so much about my weight if my bodyfat hadn’t changed, but unfortunately, this has gone up too. Which, is actually the thing that has the negative effect on my body composition. Don’t worry, I don’t regret a single meal, missed workout or afternoon on the sofa.
What are you going to do?
Well, in an ideal world I’ll wake up tomorrow and I’ll magically be back at my 63/64kg, 25 minute 5km running self again?
Oh, you want me to be serious…?
I’m just going to make small changes, I’ll make sure I’m moving more, I’ll drink a LOT more water and consider my meals in terms of long-term satisfaction, rather than a short-term hit. As simple as it sounds, rather than snacking on sugar, I’ll add in things like eggs, nuts, crispbreads with hummus etc
It’s very tempting to start a crazed workout routine, but I’m already moving more (and have seen the benefits) as we are training for The 3 Peaks Challenge. I know it sounds boring, but I’m convinced it’s just consistently doing something that makes a difference and that small changes, are far easier than huge unrealistic goals.
Do you even need to change?
No, not really. On the other hand, it’s about feeling comfortable in my own skin, something we can all understand. Whilst I’m not currently overweight IF I was to gain another 5kg – I would be overweight. I don’t want to imply that lighter is better, or being a certain weight makes you happy, it’s simply my own personal journey and choices.
What about being ‘Healthy’?
Actually, my number one objective is to find and stick to my own version of health and that cannot be defined by the number on the scale. Even if I don’t lose a single lb, having a more wholesome diet, sleeping better and feeling less run down and exhausted would be a posistive change in my life. I’ve had blood tests and a few ECG’s, I’m confident my current situation is not relating to ill health, however, if you reading this and can relate, I’d suggest visiting your GP just to cover all bases.
I’d like to think that we all know being light or having visible abs doesn’t actually mean we are healthy, I wouldn’t take advice from someone unqualified but popular, neither should you.
I was frightened about writing this as I didn’t want people to think badly of me, on the other hand, I always promised myself that I’d be honest with my readers about how I was feeling.
Social media is tiresome, it’s all so bloody fake and so many people are spamming all sorts of extrodinary comments and posts about health. There are bloggers who post pictures of meals they don’t even eat, folk who change diets to co-inside with ‘What’s trending now…’ and really couldn’t give two hoots.
So, whilst I’ve written about diets, calories and changing your body in the past, I’d like you to disregard that.
No one knows you, like you. I too bought into the bullsh*t.