Reader, I am stressed.
Admittedly, with everything else going on in the world this feels very self-indulgent and almost inappropriate. But, I feel that sharing my feelings and concerns helps me ease my worries and a problem shared can be a problem halved?
So, you might have read that we’re engaged – Hurrah!
In my own little-excited bubble, I’ve started pinning wedding dresses, dreaming of fancy shoes and practising my new signature as ‘Katie B’, so far so good right?
You see, we aren’t hugely traditional and we don’t want a huge white wedding. I’ve got a lot of time and love for those who dream of the fairy tale, I adore looking at the pictures and hearing the stories…Yet, it’s not for me.
I’m not particularly drawn to traditional wedding dresses, or white, I almost want to stumble down the aisle in something along the lines of a bohemian princess, with sparkling shoes. That’s very me and how my partner would expect me to look. With this in mind, I dipped my toe into the sea of wedding dress shopping, I looked at a few price tags and felt that I was sinking, not swimming.
I know what you’re thinking ‘Katie, listen weddings are expensive, it’s one of the most important days of your life’….
…..I understand, I really do, and on the other hand that doesn’t mean that I want to comply.
Personally, I’d rather we used the money elsewhere, my dream is for us to go on an adventure honeymoon that we’ll never forget and I don’t feel the need to impress or please others. I’m fast learning that it’s never as simple as that, I’m also learning that everyone has an opinion on your ideas and it’s the people I wouldn’t expect.
All of a sudden, everyone is a wedding expert, I kid you not.
‘Oh you simply must go there’
‘Oh but it’s only a one off and we’d love it if you did this’
‘What about everyone else? What will they do after? Don’t you think that venue is very formal? You can’t have a wedding without an evening meal or entertainment’
‘You’ll never manage on that sort of budget’
‘People won’t want to travel that far’
I started thinking on my feet and downloaded some ‘check lists’ to see if I could find some inspiration, the first thing I saw on a few lists was the reminder to lose some weight. My heart filled with sadness, my partner wanted to marry me at this weight, why should I change?
My head had a whole new set of ideas…
*Maybe you should slim down, you’ll look better in a wedding dress…
*Most people slim for the wedding don’t they?
*Maybe I should weigh myself?
*Really, I should stop downloading stupid lists which contain idea’s I’m never going to act upon and actually don’t need to act upon.
I started to wonder, when did it become less about marrying the person you love and want to spend the rest of your life with and more about putting on a show? Perhaps we’ll just rock up to the venue, him in his ’uniform’ of jeans, a t-shirt and trainers and me? If all else fails, I’ll wear yoga pants…
So, over the next year, I’ll be sharing some update’s on how I’m getting on with juggling wedding planning, two jobs, endless events and life. Alongside some creative ideas on how to work within a budget without having to settle on style, maybe there’s a creative side of me waiting to get out? Oh, and of course, I’ll try and get some snaps when I finally go wedding dress shopping….
Any hints, tips or ideas? Please, I’d be delighted to hear your comments or read your blog posts so feel free to share!