August 19, 2017

On not becoming ‘Bridezilla’…


So, we’ve set a date, booked a location and told people to ‘Save the date, the best way we know how which was, via text message, have you seen the price of stamps?

I’m excited, dare I say that I’m more excited than I ever considered I would be? But I’m determined to be the kindest, most understanding bride possible. When I started reading various articles about weddings I was horrified by tales of hen parties costing more than £1,000, bridesmaids being bullied about weight, hair colour, various duties and financial contributions.

Due to the fact we are only having 20 people at our wedding, I didn’t see the need for the added pressure of bridesmaids. What I did decide was that I’d call two wonderful women my ‘Bride Squad’ which means: They can choose exactly what they’d like to wear, there’s no pressure if they don’t want to come dress shopping or to spend evenings making floral arrangements and so on.

There are plenty of positives about being in my mini ‘Bride’s Squad’.

*I won’t demand you wear the dress I pick, in fact, I’d love to go shopping and help you find something that makes you feel fabulous. In the meantime, I felt that my ‘Bride’s Squad‘ would love these dressing gowns from  Super soft fabric, with a touch of glamour and low key enough to be worn again after the main event. 

*You won’t have to miss out on your annual holiday due to the fact I don’t want to go on a completely over the top hen doo which eats up your yearly holiday budget.

*We will eat cake and I’ll almost definitely buy you something edible as a thank you gift.

*We can drink prosecco and I’ll talk utter crap and panic about dresses, food and if G will show up…

If you don’t believe the stress involved with being a bridesmaid and how some people are made to feel, just read this natty little article

It’s been tough enough explaining to people the intimacy of our wedding and that it is not a personal reflection on them or our feelings towards them. Whilst everyone says’s it’s your day, do what makes you happy’ there’s always an undertone.

I almost felt like sending a note to everyone who’s not invited to say sorry, please don’t think badly of me but we need to be selfish. I suppose to some people the fact we are having such a small wedding is a strange concept, after all, it’s supposed to be a social event, isn’t it? This is where being selfish comes in, but I stand by the fact I simply cannot handle the idea of more than our immediate family and one set of friends each on our day.

Then I started digging into the true cost of a wedding, I know I touched on this briefly in my previous post but I very much want to stand by my ethics. I honestly feel that you don’t need to spend a fortune, I’m taking great pleasure in working out DIY elements to ensure the day is true to us. I don’t wish to indulge in an over rated cliché just because that’s what everyone else is doing right now.

I started to think about little elements that everyone could enjoy…

For example, I’d love everyone to choose a song they’d like to hear whilst we eat the wedding breakfast. I’d want people to eat food that they enjoy rather than chasing a piece of rubbery chicken around their plate to be polite.  I am creating my own ‘pick’n’mix stand’ (post coming soon) as I love sweets and I feel it adds a fun element, alongside a projector sharing our most amusing moments as a way to start a conversation.

I’ve been involved with weddings before when a perfectly reasonable and kind person becomes an absolute monster. Whilst I won’t share details, let’s just say that I’ve learnt the kind of bride I really don’t want to be, without reading too many click bait articles.

I just wonder; how much fun do these women really have? Do they laugh? Is it what they really wanted?

In the meantime, does anyone fancy chipping in so I can buy this Roberto Cavalli Gown I’ve seen? Also, I just need to check that my ‘Bride’s Squad’ has compiled that spreadsheet I’m after, the one which compares the price of fresh flowers in Northamptonshire…

Just Kidding!

If you are planning a wedding you might enjoy my ‘Wedding 101 Pinterest Board

On another note, did you feel that Wedding planning changed you? I still feel very laid back and relaxed in comparison to other brides, hope I’m not missing anything!

Okay, that was a lie, I’ve become completely bonkers….Send help or cake…




4 responses to “On not becoming ‘Bridezilla’…”

  1. Steph says:

    I think wedding planning definitely has strong potential to bring out the best and worst in people (not just brides either!). We were pretty low key, got a good deal on a reception venue, etc. But it still cost us too much and I have said to Matt if we did it again, I would do it differently – much smaller venue, fewer people and make better choices. A small wedding would have meant less debt and quicker on the housing ladder. Thankfully, I am not going to have to do it again, as I have decided that he is stuck with me!

    • Katie Groome says:

      It’s proving very easy to understand how and why weddings spiral out of control. We are hugely fortunate to own our home and we invested into the property as our ‘home for life’ and I’d rather reduce/pay off our mortgage than spend say 20k on a wedding.
      On the other hand, I completely see both sides and it’s very easy to glide along with all the excitement of becoming a bride and planning the ‘dream day’. My irrational fear of debt is causing me stress as one side of me is getting a little out of hand, then the other side of me is thinking ‘for goodness sake Katie, calm down!’ 🙂 xx

  2. Honestly it sounds like a nightmare! I think you are doing very well to try and keep it low key.

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