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Confessions of, A Facebook Stalker…

I’m in recovery and have been for about 6 months which I consider a personal success.

‘Recovery from what?’ May you ask?


Recovery from something we all do, but rarely speak of (unless it’s with the best of friends or via a blog like me) its Facebook stalking.

We shall start with photo’s…and evolve..because that’s generally what happens…
There was a time for me (and many others) when the ‘profile picture’ was so important, you wanted to look attractive, interesting like your life was fun, successful and you’d really moved on since that job/school/college/last relationship. The profile picture is the first port of contact, It’s the point that makes someone identity you or want to befriend you and it’s your visual to the social media world ‘Hello this is me your talking to, do you like my face?’. Apart from when I’m updating Facebook I normally look nothing like I do in my profile picture (hence I don’t update often, I’m normally recovering from looking in the mirror).
I care little for the profile pictures these day’s because I know that ‘tagged photo’s’ is where the glory is, those pictures of you gurning, with 56 double chins and that hideous get up you wore in 2004 all lovingly tagging by your so-called friends.
Trust me…I have some beauties….I think it’s time…for us to share the pain…
This is me…I eat burger and chips…on film…


This is a nice up short’s shot…We haven’t seen each other in years and now you get landed with this..


Ahhhh look at me here…I have the moves like Jagger…and I went out in just a shirt. Must have been a skint month…If you look carefully you’ll see I’m really thinking about my moves ‘1,2,3,4 and 1,2,3,4..’ – THIS WAS 2009! But it still haunts me..


Oh this one’s beautiful – Look I drankkk some winnnneeee and fell asleep mid photo, my mother would be so proud of this picture. 
Ahhh this is a few years old (like the previous few pics!) but I am sure I was taking a test shot for ‘Britain’s Next Top Model’ *cough cough*..Maybe I was then going off to chop some wood in my checked shirt
It’s okay Facebook – Because the REALLY frightening photo’s my boyfriend takes of me laughing, sleeping, digitally edited to give me the worlds biggest nose.Well, each birthday/Christmas he lovingly puts them on a mug. Now that you won’t read in a status update! 
Many of us use Facebook when we first meet someone to check out his/her past and that means looking at ‘The Ex’ there’s a mental checklist ‘Are they thinner?’, ‘Are they more stylish?’…’I am more fabulous right?’…
Suddenly your mind is a tumble drier of insults ‘That dress looked cheap and nasty on me; however it really suits you’.
Then reality HITS – Boom…Grow up; you must remember that you are not the person who makes bitchy remarks and you should not enter that ream. I always regret making rude comments about people I see on TV, Facebook etc because I have to keep in mind they are probably thinking the same about me and what goes around comes around.
So when you’re sitting with your tablet, whirling up some insults in your head…
Stop, realize what you’re doing and move onto something more productive like looking at the Sweaty Betty sale section or compliment an strangers instragam pic.

The same applies to old school friends; I was uncool at school and most certainly not part of the popular group. People change, the bullies grow up, the driven ones get ahead and many people become young parents. It’s okay to be the ‘uncool’ one; one of my fellow uncool friends grew into one of the most physically beautiful women I have ever seen. Honestly, she looks like an Arabian Princess, anyone with her would wear an invisibility cloak and scooting around on this wonderful site meant we briefly got back in contact after many moons. 

There is a sadder/darker side to Facebook and Facebook stalking..

You can be snuggled up with the TV on in the background and then suddenly BOOM a huge personal announcement from a friend comes up. I read that people spend ages agonizing what photo and how to word the amazing news via Facebook, it’s so sad that we can’t just tell each other face to face and rejoice anymore. 


You find out that someone has passed away; I innocently mentioned to a colleague about someone well known locally who I’d read had passed away via Facebook. He had no idea. There was no discomfort or upset from this but it just reminded me that we don’t always take peoples feelings into account and/or we don’t always read what we want to read.

People use it as a sounding board, for attention seeking or openly naming and shaming – For me this is where it all goes wrong and I genuinely think we don’t need to share every little detail.

I was going to type ‘Dear Facebook, I am eating beans on toast‘…But I insta my favorite meals so I can’t comment…Because it’s like ‘Hello followers I’m eating more vegetables and then I’m going to nosedive into something calorific because I’m cool‘…

I’ll say no more..but pass this on to you…Any Facebook faux paus? Like the time you commented with someone’s name instead of searched for it? or ‘THAT’ photo you got tagged in..or the time..you..????

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